Negotiating with a toddler terrorist and the Trifecta of Parenting Wins

Yesterday was a long Sunday. Chris was pulled in last minute to play at the morning service so that means he's gone from 7am until about 2:30pm. Daniel got up early when he heard Chris getting ready and whined and cried to go with daddy. I knew that wouldn't be a good idea so even as Chris was getting Daniel ready to go with him, I said "no, I'll get him". Mistake. Here's what two hours of negotiating with the two year old terrorist looks like: First, he refused his favorite peanut butter waffle because I folded it the "wrong way" and proceeded to smear it all over the couch, shirt and pants though I ended up letting him wear the shirt to Sunday school since I didn't want to fight the battle of trying to change him. I also let him bring his real guitar in the car and gave up my breakfast bar since he was still hungry, crumbs from said bar have made it into the guitar. Then once at church I gave in and carried both boys into church nearly dropping David as he slid down my side as he went into the "limp noodle" tired state. Toddler terrorism.

But the trifecta of parenting came after church. Even though we survived a target run (hallelujah) I was starving since I had bribed the toddler terrorist with my breakfast. So we make a stop of McDonald's since I may or may not have been using the bribe of possible french fries to get through the Target run. I knew full well we had healthier food at home, just didn't want to make it. Parenting win #1 When we got home I decided to clean out the nasty messy car and set the boys up on a blanked to have a "front lawn picnic" so I could watch them as I cleaned. Daniel yells "I have to go pee pee!" Not wanting to rush him to the potty and move a happy baby, I say "go pee pee over behind the trash can" So he does pee pee in the front yard in front of a bunch of neighbors and people driving by. He then follows that with running around with pants and undies around his ankles. Parenting win #2. Finally we moved the nudity inside and get going with breakfast. Connor had helped himself to about 6 or 7 containters of David's baby food, chewing through the plastic and leaving bits of foil and plastic all over the living room and dining room. I tried to avoid the mess so I put David into the highchair for lunch, but as soon as I gave him his appetizer of puffs he started to gag and choke and turn red. I did a finger sweep and pulled out a puff, thinking that I got everything but a few puffs later he did the same. But I didn't feel anything with the finger sweep. I pulled him out of the high chair flung him over my arm and pounded his back. He threw up a bit and out came a piece of the stray foil. He must have picked it up in the few minutes that he was on the floor. Ugh. Last week he ate a leaf and threw up all over as he spit it up, this week foil. Parenting win #3, for the trifecta: bribery, nudity and near death experience. Here's hoping that the snow day + trying to work from home is a little bit better.